Harry Rourke

Tom Cat.

Picture: Simon Wagner for Dogs Today Magazine (July 2000 Issue)

Cats and Photo Shoots:

  1. Demonstrate superb recall of cat from garden to kitchen.
  2. Remove cat-basket from kitchen and repeat step 1.
  3. Ignore telephone and put cat in basket.
  4. Check all cat-basket exits are actually secure.
  5. Retrieve cat from bedroom and repeat step 3.
  6. Swear under-breath at client on telephone as Mobile rings simultaneously and repeat step 5.
  7. Place furious cat-in-basket on front seat of van, go and find puppy.
  8. Remove yoghurt pot from puppy's snout, find cleaning materials for his face.
  9. Swear out loud as phones ring simultaneously again. Retrieve cleaning materials from puppy's throat/mouth, cut off client while trying to clean puppy's face with phone tucked under ear.
  10. Race to Client No 1. Demonstrate your world famous "5-nanosecond Mac Fix" in ClarisWorks.
  11. Return to hissing, spitting, mad cat-in-basket in van and proceed to Slough
  12. Forget new awful light systems on Windsor Bypass and wait 20 needless minutes in stationary traffic.
  13. Resolve that next vehicle will have electric windows when you notice a bloke mouthing to you in the adjacent lane.
  14. Resolve the problem by closing the back doors on the van.
  15. Arrive at Client No 2. Remove cat from basket and take onto set.
  16. Regret wearing black as cat sheds orange and white hair all over.
  17. Remember to find out whether the Editor is allergic to cats.
  18. Sit cat, tickle on head, command "stay" and step back.
  19. Retrieve cat from behind the set, repeat step 18.
  20. Repeat Step 19.
  21. Repeat Step 20.
  22. Cat now sits and glares at camera.  Resist the temptation to check the Polaroid without holding the cat.
  23. Find the cat. ...behind two tonnes of set building equipment.
  24. Find stick and prod cat in right direction.
  25. Find longer stick and repeat step 24.
  26. Scruff cat and return to set.
  27. Watching cat like a hawk, repeat steps 18 to 21.
  28. Resist the temptation to say "Yes" when Editor asks for shot of cat with collar and lead.
  29. Remove cat's claws from leg and teeth from inner thigh.
  30. Resolve to wear a polo-neck as cat climbs up your body and tears out your throat in an attempt to sit on your head.
  31. Resolve to charge by cm/scar or ml/blood-loss as cat repeats steps 29 and 30 on his own.
  32. Thank Photographer, Editor and staff profusely for their time and patience. Stuff cat back in basket and mentally scrub "Cats Today Magazine" off your wish list of people to work for.
  33. Heave great sigh of relief when 16 week puppy does a brilliant job on set.
  34. Check wounds in car mirror and make mental note to bring 1st Aid kit to every shoot...


Harry appeared in the July 2000 issue of Dogs Today Magazine as in illustration to Ian Dunbar's Article on Training.

Katie has retired from the world of Cat Training and will concentrate on Horses and Dogs in future.